Online dating scams: What they are and how to avoid them

Online dating scams involve fraudsters posing as potential partners to steal money or personal data. They use fake profiles, emotional manipulation, and urgent requests to lure victims into wiring cash or sharing sensitive info like account logins or financial data.

This guide covers the 10 most common online romance scams (and their variations), signs to watch out for, and how to avoid getting trapped in the first place. It also explains what you can do if you or a loved one (such as an elderly parent) gets caught in such a scheme.

10 online dating scams to watch out for

Online dating scams come in many forms, but most of them fit under one of the following categories.

1. Fake dating sites

Scam websites aren’t anything new, and fake dating sites (either with very few real profiles or filled with scammers) are aplenty. These websites are designed to extract personally identifiable information (PII) from victims, whether it’s:

• Financial information
• Answers to typical security questions, like what city you were born in, or where your parents met
• Other personal information that can be used in identity theft scams

Questions on these topics may arise during sign-up or as part of a quiz or survey later on, for the chance to win a free membership or other bonus.

Another sign of a fake dating website (and bots) is having your inbox flooded when you’ve barely finished signing up. Sure, things may be rough out there in the online dating scene. But even the loneliest singles expect to see at least a profile photo before making the first move.

Is there a list of fake dating sites?

While there’s no exhaustive list of fake dating sites, here are some infamous examples:

• AshleyMadison.com: While the “affair-focused” platform isn’t truly fake, the site was exposed in a 2015 data breach, revealing a high percentage of fake profiles and shady practices. Its reputation still hasn’t recovered (not that it was stellar to begin with).
• VictoriaHearts.com: Known for fake profiles and aggressive messaging that leads to premium service charges or scams.
• RussianBrides.com: Lures users with fake women’s profiles and pushes for payments under false pretenses.
• UkraineDate.com: Riddled with fake profiles asking for money or personal info once you pay to connect.
• AnastasiaDate.com: Uses fake, attractive profiles to get users to spend on chat credits. Many users on TrustPilot claim they’ve been scammed this way.
• Datemyage, AsianDate, EuroDate, and several others under AnastasiaDate ownership, according to the Better Business Bureau (BBB). All have low TrustPilot scores and plenty of user reports of scammy profiles.

Unsure about a dating site being fake or not? Then, read reviews from real people on Reddit, Trustpilot, and other sites before signing up. Also, look them up on the BBB to rule out “subsidiary” dating sites such as those we listed above.

2. Sextortion scams

What is sextortion? Well, it involves a scammer blackmailing you after supposedly recording you during private moments (e.g., watching porn, intimate webcam interactions, etc.), or hitting you with a fake sex crime accusation, as we’ll see in a bit.

Related: Are porn websites safe?

While most online dating scammers avoid video calls for obvious reasons, some may take the opposite approach. They get overly flirty and persistent, tell you everything you want to hear, and suggest connecting via webcam.

It just so happens that theirs doesn’t work all of a sudden. But why spoil the fun? They keep up the ruse until they get you into a compromising position. Then, the mask comes off, and they threaten to release the recording online or share it with your contacts.

An even nastier variant is the so-called “underage scam,” where you meet someone on a dating app who claims to be over 18. Later, another person (posing as a parent, family member, or law enforcement) contacts you, saying the person was actually underage. They’ll threaten legal trouble, but offer to “settle” if you pay for things like therapy or a broken phone. In reality, there is no minor, no crime, and nothing to settle—just scammers trying to extort you.

As is the case with most common cryptocurrency scams, the fraudsters typically request payment in Bitcoin or other cryptocurrencies. That way, they become even harder to trace. Victims may feel trapped and struggle to ask for help, making this type of scam especially effective.

3. Phishing scams

While not directly tied to dating, phishing scams often target users of dating sites, especially when the site or app has existing verification systems in place.

It’s the classic bogus email from “Tinder” or other platforms asking you to “complete your profile.” In some cases, fraudsters send malicious links directly to you through the app. Basically, they try to flip the script, claiming they’ll only talk to verified users “to rule out scammers.”

Regardless of the approach, these links may push suspicious downloads that install malware on your system. Or, instead of directing you to the official app or website, the link takes you to a copycat page. Once you enter your login, phone number, or other sensitive details, you’ve practically handed them over to the scammer.

4. Military romance scams

As the name implies, the scammer creates a fake profile or impersonates a real military personnel. They may spin a story about looking for companionship after being widowed, or splitting up because their partner did not want to deal with a long-distance relationship.

To make things more convincing, they mention being stationed at specific military bases, throwing in military acronyms like PCS or TDY to sound legit. Once you feel comfortable and bring up the possibility of meeting up, they’re conveniently deployed.

Afterwards, they may start asking for money for various reasons, such as:

• Buying expensive hardware for better internet coverage, so they can keep in contact with you (Starlink can get pretty expensive, you know)
• Paying for medical bills, which their insurance supposedly won’t cover
• Covering travel expenses to finally visit you

Moreover, military romance scams often involve other fraudsters posing as medical personnel or colleagues to back up the story and get you spending consistently. It’s such a widespread problem (as highlighted in our romance scam statistics article) that the US Army published its own guide on how to identify romance scammers.

5. Fake inheritance scams

This is a form of advance-fee fraud, also known as the “Nigerian Prince scam.” In this case, someone claims they’re about to inherit a huge fortune (typically in gold, property, or large sums of money). However, they must meet strange conditions first. They may say they need to marry or cover taxes, legal fees, or customs duties to claim it.

The scammer builds trust over time, often promising to visit as proof of their commitment. They may even send fake legal documents to boost credibility. Then, they start asking for money to cover travel or taxes. Unsurprisingly, the victim sends cash, but the scammer never shows up.

6. Tinder phone scam

Some Tinder users might ask you to text or call a number, usually with an urgent excuse involving a lost phone, rental issue, or other believable story. They’ll also want your phone number “just to confirm it’s you.”

If you follow through, your number may get added to shady subscription services or sold to telemarketers and other scammers. Or, they can use it to gain access to your accounts, as explained below.

7. Two-factor authentication (2FA) scams

While two-factor authentication is useful for protecting your dating profiles and other accounts, scammers have found ways to trick people into giving up their own codes. It usually starts with a casual request that seems harmless but is actually part of a setup. Here’s how it works:

• They already have your login info: The scammer knows your email or phone number linked to the account they want to access—either from chatting with you, data brokers, and “people search sites”, or scam #6.
• The scammer triggers the 2FA code: By attempting to log in or using the reset password link, they cause the site to send a real verification code to you.
• They lie about the code: They say it was sent to you by mistake, or that they’re testing something, and ask you to forward it.
• They take over your account: Once you share the code, they log in and change the password, locking you out in the process.

If anyone ever asks for a verification code “just to check something,” don’t send it—that code is only for you. Better yet, use an authenticator app, and you won’t have to worry about random 2FA texts or emails, nor about hackers using SIM swapping to intercept them.

8. Photo scams

Photo scams involve convincing the victim to share personal photos or contact details by offering revealing pictures in return. Sometimes it’s simply a bot acting romantic or flirtatious to gain access to sensitive information.

In other cases, scammers use the photos to blackmail victims or gather enough data to commit identity or financial fraud. What starts off as a flirty exchange can quickly spiral into emotional manipulation and financial pressure.

9. Money mule scams

Money mule scams trick victims into moving stolen funds. Once they gain your trust, the scammer might say they need help cashing a check or wiring money because of “banking issues” overseas. Alternatively, they might claim it’s temporary or linked to a business deal.

Either way, they ask victims to use their personal account, making it sound like a simple favor. In reality, the victim helps out a money laundering operation and could face serious legal trouble, even if they weren’t aware of the crime.

10. Food-digging restaurants

Named after the concept of “gold-digging,” this newer scam will have you questioning even your local food joints.

It starts when you hit it off with someone and arrange a date at a local restaurant. While it may feel like they’re super fixated on this one spot, it’s nothing that rings any alarm bells. You get all dressed up and show up, only to get stood up. After you wait for a while, you might as well order some food to make the best of it.

Later, you find others online sharing the same experience at that exact location. Restaurants behind the scam create fake dating profiles to lure singles in, then fail to show up on the date. If you ever needed a good reason to avoid a dinner first date, there you have it.

Online dating scam stories

New romance scam examples pop up all the time (honestly, just as shocked as you by the food-digging one), but the stories usually follow the same beats. Here’s a quick look at the kinds of setups scammers keep recycling, but with new names and AI-generated photos:

• Long-distance love interests who need help paying for tickets, documentation, other travel expenses, or even their education to come visit you
• A personal or family medical emergency, naturally expecting to guilt-trip you into paying
• Someone stuck with a broken phone or computer, asking you to foot the bill so you can keep in touch
• A stash of gold, cash, or other valuables held at customs that can supposedly be released by paying some nondescript fee
• An old-school money mule scam targeting the elderly or people unfamiliar with wire transfers: The scammer claims their employer paid them with postal money orders they can’t cash, so they ask you to deposit them and send the money onward. Later, the bank cancels the payment, but you’re left responsible for the loss.

Even if the story changes slightly, the pattern is the same: build trust, create urgency, and ask for help. And since romance scams often target people who feel lonely or isolated, the emotional pressure can make it harder to realize what’s actually going on.

What are the signs of an online dating scammer?

Online dating scams on Facebook, Tinder, or any other service often employ the same tactics, even if the scammers’ stories vary slightly. Here are some common red flags to watch for.

1. Sudden switch to WhatsApp or other chat apps

Dating sites are easier to monitor, which is why you shouldn’t share private details on them in the first place. Naturally, this is done for security purposes (they have to keep an eye out for scammers and other crimes somehow).

Fraudsters know this, so they offer to take the conversation elsewhere for reasons like:

• They’ve hit their free message limit
• Their subscription is about to run out
• WhatsApp is more convenient

To be fair, those are valid reasons to switch if a membership is not in the budget or the dating app is too clunky. In any case, WhatsApp is a favorite because it has end-to-end encryption, meaning not even Facebook/Meta can see your chats. The perfect setup for some catfishing.

2. Early romantic interest

Romance scams tend to move very fast. And as much as anyone dreams about love at first sight, it’s simply unrealistic for someone to call you their soulmate (or similar over-the-top statements) after a short chat. Not without an ulterior motive, at least.

Even in the unlikely event that it’s not a scammer, you’d have to question the emotional maturity of a person who’s ready to marry their phone screen. Or their honesty, as they might just be after a quick fling despite their sweet talk.

3. Intense interest in your personal life

They don’t just fall for you fast; scammers want to know everything about you, too. Asking constant questions helps them tailor their story and win your trust. They might even share personal details of their own, just to make you feel more at ease.

This back-and-forth can stretch on for weeks, building a false sense of closeness. If they offer to call or move the convo off the app, it’s usually to deepen the bond (or avoid getting flagged).

4. Vague or unreliable story

Since catfishing tends to be a long-term operation (often involving multiple people per profile), scammers may forget details about their own made-up persona. As a result, they may leave things intentionally vague to keep their story straight.

If you notice frequent inconsistencies or they try to change the subject when pressed for details, take that as your cue to stop sharing anything personal until you’re sure they’re legit.

On the flip side, their story might sound a little too dramatic and pile on the tragedy: crippling accidents, sick relatives, sudden deaths, anything to keep you emotionally invested and avoid meeting up. If it sounds like bad TV, you’re better off changing the channel.

5. Studio-quality, stock-style, or AI photos

Some online dating scammer photos appear more like glamour shots than selfies, and some may not even be genuine. Not to say you can’t spruce up your dating profile with a professional-looking photo, of course.

However, if the lighting feels staged, the background is perfect, and their face belongs on a billboard, it might not be their picture. Scammers often lift images from models, actors, stock photo sites, or even international social media profiles.

Now, Google Images used to be the best way to suss out fake profile photos. But ever since they changed how reverse image search works to protect peoples’ privacy, it’s become useless for this specific reason. Unfortunately, there aren’t many great alternatives these days.

You can try your luck with Yandex, Bing Visual Search, or TinEye, but results tend to be hit or miss. There are paid options available, including PimEyes, Social Catfish, FaceCheck ID, and SwindlerBuster. However, they’re pretty expensive and users don’t consider them particularly effective, either.

Moreover, scammers might use generative AI to create images and pretty convincing videos (to the untrained eye) of brand-new “people”—which breaks the usual reverse image search trick. In the end, you’ll have to trust your gut on this one.

6. No other online presence

It’s understandable for people to want to limit what they post online or even avoid social media altogether. That said, this can also backfire if you’re trying to find out if the person you’re talking to is real, and not a bot or a scammer.

Having no digital presence isn’t proof of a scam, but it should make you think twice, especially if their profile feels too polished or their story’s a little too vague.

7. Copy-pasted bio and generic messages

Some romance scammers don’t bother personalizing anything. Instead, they reuse the same bios and messages across multiple accounts.

It’s fine if you both start off with generic greetings, but if their responses barely relate to anything you said or jump straight into cheesy flattery, that’s a warning sign. Try searching chunks of their bio or messages online, and you might find them on dozens of other profiles.

8. Excuses for avoiding video calls or meeting up

Naturally, nobody owes anyone a date, or even a video call, for that matter. But if someone’s pouring on the praise and it seems like you’re hitting it off, constant excuses not to meet face-to-face can’t be brushed off.

They might say their camera is broken, claim they’re too shy, or keep blaming work, long distance, or travel. One excuse might be fair, but if it happens again and again, they’re likely hiding the fact that they’re not the person in their photos.

9. Sudden requests for money

Unless you’ve already met in person or in an actual, live video call (no pre-recorded stuff, which could be AI), this should be an immediate block and report—even if every fiber in your body is telling you “no.”

Yes, it can be hard, especially after you’ve invested so much time and emotion into the supposed relationship. But it’s better to cut your losses than give them more opportunities to take advantage of you.

How to avoid online dating scams

No matter what type of scam you’re dealing with, these tips should help you avoid getting caught up in one:

• Ignore requests from strangers: Only accept friend requests from people you genuinely know.
• Limit what you share: Details like your job or surname can be misused for scams or identity theft.
• Stick to the app: Don’t move conversations off dating sites too soon—fraudsters want to avoid being tracked.
• Stay cautious, even if you messaged first: Fake profiles may also wait for victims to reach out first.
• Don’t ignore gaps in their story: Everyone makes mistakes, but if they consistently change details or dodge questions, it could mean they’re hiding something.
• Avoid sending or receiving private photos: Anything revealing can be used to blackmail you.
• Don’t send money, share financial info, or hand out gift cards.
• Be skeptical of flattery: Look up common romance scammer phrases; they’re not particularly creative with them.
• Don’t open random links: Skip bios or messages with unrelated downloads or suspicious URLs.
• Report and block: If something feels off, stop contact and notify the platform.
• Meet safely: Choose public places and tell a trusted contact your plans. Avoid flying out to see someone you’ve only met online.

What to do if you’ve fallen for an online romance scam

Besides cutting off contact with the scammer and reporting them to the dating service, here’s how to proceed if you’ve been scammed:

• Gather proof: Save screenshots of conversations, profiles, payment receipts, and anything related to the scam. These are helpful when you report an incident or if authorities become involved.
• Alert your bank: Call your card issuer or bank right away. They can block charges, reverse transactions, or freeze your account.
• Contact local anti-fraud agencies: Whether it’s the FTC or the FBI’s IC3 in the US, Action Fraud in the UK, the Canadian AFC, or the Australian ACCC, anti-fraud organizations are better equipped (though not guaranteed) to catch the scammer.
• Reset passwords: If you clicked on any phishing links and exposed your private info, immediately change the passwords on your main email, home banking, and other sensitive accounts. Consider a password manager to generate and securely store unique, virtually uncrackable passwords.
• Keep an eye on your accounts: Check bank or card history, account logins, and so on to ensure the scammer is truly locked out.
• Watch out for recovery scams: Don’t post about being scammed to any socials, or you’ll get bombarded with messages from so-called “recovery experts” promising to help (for a fee).

Helping a parent caught in an online romance scam

While digging through reports and forums during our research, one of the most heartbreaking patterns was people unsure how to handle elderly parents who kept sending money to the same scammer, despite being told, over and over, that this “romance” wasn’t real.

If direct evidence and discussing their feelings haven’t helped, you might have to take firmer steps. In the US, some resort to conservatorship, where a court grants someone legal control over the person’s finances. In the UK, the equivalent would be applying for a deputyship through the Court of Protection. Other countries have similar routes for gaining financial guardianship.

Of course, this is a pretty sensitive (and deliberately difficult) process. The law doesn’t make it easy to take over someone’s finances unless a doctor confirms that the person is no longer capable of managing them. And even then, it takes a judge’s approval. That’s because if it were simple, the system could be abused to exploit vulnerable people.

That said, if your parent is stuck in the same scam loop, forgets key details, or refuses to see a doctor, it may be worth pushing for a proper evaluation. Just know that without medical proof or their cooperation, you likely won’t get very far.

Some users suggested things like limiting phone or internet access, bringing in a trusted lawyer or financial adviser to help explain the risks, or even involving law enforcement or social workers. A “serious” third party can sometimes break through where family can’t.

It’s tough, and your parent may feel betrayed—both by you and the fact that they’ll “lose contact with their new partner.” However, letting it go can lead to worse outcomes, such as draining their retirement savings or risking eviction.

Online dating scams FAQs

Related: VPNs for dating sites